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Could Be Payday. I was actually talking to my friend". Is your family tree a cactus? How do you think that I am doing? You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. You might just find one. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. The police? Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor Not so much. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. But, they will grow up into a dog. Learn more about us here. (perfect for vegans). Otherwise, we would still be with them today. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Required fields are marked *. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 7. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 22. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. For more information, please see our The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Are you going to help me have a good day? However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. 53. . You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? Hopefully, youll stay there. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 10. It can be good to just say it how it is. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Siri, why am I still single? All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Now you can be! Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" You a cop? I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. *licks lips*. Feeling confident? Reply. Your secrets are always safe with me. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Stop asking me why Im single! Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! You just live. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 10. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. "Alright. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Scroll down! and our Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 66. 7. 1. 10. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 16. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Did someone leave your cage open? Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Best "How Are You?" Answers. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Now that is pretty f****** funny. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. I repeat I am plural! I will leave that up to your imagination. Because Im awkward and ugly. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. (bonus points to you if you sing it). If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Then the worms eat you. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. This one is a bit long. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Being single is much better than being married. My guardian angel be like 2. Financially? So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Nice outfit. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying 2. 9. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Happy, and I know it. (Use a sexy tone). 14. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. I'm used to it, anyway. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. It's impossible for things to be perfect. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes Dont get caught with nothing to say. 83. Who knows, they might just do it. It's quite the accomplishment. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Alive Jokes. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Because your ass is out of this world! No, keep talking. I'm happy! Maybe their roommate was sick. Maybe you can Google it. 8. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Checklists & Reminders! upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Im jealous of people who dont know you. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. 1. 4. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. . 1. 3. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Im too expensive. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. 3. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 3. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! No one loves superheroes. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. 16. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 77. I never even listen when you tell me them. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Impressive! Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Share the best GIFs now >>> Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. 4. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts You were a young man when you last spoke. Not Bad. 6. [*clap your hands*]. 39. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Your email address will not be published. Call the police." 13 Quora User Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. 95. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 69. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Because they are already taking their time. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. I think I am doing alright. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys I cant really complain, but I will still try. 17. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. More like give me a sign that. 32. Socioeconomically? I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. 14. Ah, sarcasm. This does not seem right. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 18. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Canva. Physically? He will be missed. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Sounds like effort to me. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. But Ive also had better. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Have you met food? Follow for more funny content!! I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Mentally? Most of the time, that is not true. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Sorry, life. It's all about confidence. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. 2. (This line came from the cartoon show. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Well, are you? Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day!