While Americans may claim to believe in equality between the sexes, the advice-seekers on Needless to say I was angry. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Identify your emotions carefully and specifically. She might not be cuddly but does she spend time with you or do things for you and support you? My girlfriend, 25, has a beautiful five-year-old daughter, who I adore, and a job, but is restricted due to being a single mother. Yesterday she stayed at work really late trying to get something done. Being clingy, taking things personally, reading too much into stuff people say, being too emotional are all effects of that cause (at least, for me they were). You also need to expect that if she's seeing people for the first time in a long time, you're going to fall to the backburner a little bit. Don't waste your time if you don't want to be that committed to her though. That doesn't mean she values your relationship less. We stopped being friends after he got mad at me and another friend during separate times for not inviting him to a family event/vacation because he felt left out and that we loved our parents more than he loved his. Sometimes. My Girlfriend Flirts With Other Guys: 5 Reasons Why She Might Be … Handle it like this as i did. I know doing this sucks, but it's part of your job in an LTR. Seeing her break down over her dad and bro made me feel bad because she's never had any such reaction to anything in our relationship. We argued, I kind of feel like a dick but know my concerns were still valid even if I voiced em the wrong way. Being too protective of her or suspicious about what she is thinking, feeling or doing when he isn’t around. It is not at all unreasonable that she would want to spend as much time as possible with her father and brother given the situation. It sounds like your girlfriend handles romantic relationships differently from how she handles family relationships. I have no idea why some people are emotionless, or not emotional enough (or far too emotional … Were you wanting her to give a big speech professing her gratitude to you for helping to plan a party? As far as being angry over not getting to do what you wanted at her party, that's on you to resolve in yourself. he's not a multimillionaire, he makes 60k. Before you can work through negative emotions, you need to identify them. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me. Seeing her break down over her dad and bro made me feel bad because she's never had any such reaction to anything in our relationship. Besides being shocked, has she responded? She probably needs you to teach her how to keep her cool and get her point across to people that upset her. She spent a large chunk of the evening with her dad and brother including some time I wanted to go for a walk with her, away from the party, just the two of us. Alyssa and I have dated for 2 and a half years and in all that time, she has never been an emotional person. If you have found yourself in the unfortunate situation where you’re saying, “My girlfriend wants to take a break” there’s about a 95% chance (based on all my experience helping guys to get women back) that she is simply trying to break up with you. I am an expert at handling situations like this, having studied neurosciences, psychology, philosophy etc. As you can see from the statistics above, women have a lot more “ We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I think it's possible that she has held back from you emotionally, and it's also possible that she really is emotionally invested, she just never shows you because she's typically so reserved. I mean, seriously; what so you want from her? Do I really need to hold her hand through life 24/7? When we argue (which isn't often) she is the type to not let emotions get the best of her, she'll leave me hanging for a few hours, compose her thoughts and come back a few hours later and talk about whatever issue was up in a rational manner. What the hell is support in a girl's eyes? That's fine. Their logical mind won't allow them to admit they are just not attracted anymore, so they create something wrong that the guy is doing to explain their unhappiness. Anyway, her birthday was last week, her dad who has been away for work for a year and a half and her brother (23) who has been deployed overseas for almost 2 and a half years, he hasn't been back in nearly 2 and a half years or something like that. Just because she was surprised and moved to tears with her family doesn't mean she doesn't care for you. I'm the more emotional one of the two, so this can be annoying at times but I do see it's better to do what she does rather than the two of us just blowing up at each other and maybe saying something we'll regret. I was at my apartment hanging out. That's likely her default way of showing emotion. My cousin: he is in his early 30s, and a bonafide simp that doesn't want to accept it. For the first time ever I literally saw my gf break down crying, she was really happy because she had no clue she'd see her dad or her little brother for her birthday. All in all she comes to you for help, and if you want to help her then do so. MERCH HAS OFFICIALLY DROPPED!! If this was a constant pattern of her ignoring you when she's around her family, that would be different, but it's not. And you expressed it. What now? I think I provide enough support. The real question is, what does she do with you to make you feel loved? The same thing happned to me 3 months ago...i was devastated, i was literally lying on the floor in front of her on the street and crying in public. Sometimes I feel like she isn't really emotional/into me at all, I know this isn't true and she's just not an overly cuddly, fuzzy type. “I broke up with my girlfriend but do I really want her back?” This dumpers regret test will show us if you REALLY regret breaking up! She knew something was up and when she asked me I was hesitant to tell her what it was. Imagine you’re writing a report on your emotions and you need to be as detailed as possible. But don't blame her for a reaction she couldn't control, and don't compare her love for her family with her love for you. There has to be something if you're still together. your girlfriend really is very very emotional. This only happened last week, after all. And why are going on a random walk in the middle of her birthday party? You are in same situation in which i was. I suspect a number of us at the party who haven't known Alyssa as long were surprised. In my case this stemmed from low self esteem: I didn't see myself as equal to others, really. What did you hope to accomplish by calling her out on her excitement at seeing her family? She's just too clingy and I feel like she expects too much out of me. It was the first time I'd met her dad or brother. To fix things, you need to stop appeasing her complaints and up your amused mastery. It's just incredibly frustrating when she's trying to vent to me through fucking text messages. It's her dad and brother who she hasn't seen in forever... of course she's going to want to spend time with them and not go for a walk with you. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. This wasn't you messing up. CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE: https://rissandquanmerch.com/We want to thank you all for your continuous support. Emotional guys want emotional gals, its all about compatibility and you want back what you give. I know it was bad but I couldn't help it. Here's an example. If you had said "disappointed" that would not have surprised me at all. She gets jealous of my friends when I hang out with them, and basically any time we are not together I am constantly being flooded by "I miss you" texts. Shalom bbys it’s Piper Rockelle! If you have certain needs that aren't being met, you need to articulate those needs in a calm way where you're not accusing her of anything. You can talk to her about this and state how you don't blame her for her emotional outburst, but that it made you feel less important to her and ask that she consider making more of an effort towards displaying her emotions towards you, but this is a core part of her personality. That doesn't mean she feels any less about you than other relationships where she displays more emotion. There are some cases (approximately 5%) where it’s not about breaking up (e.g. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. But if that leaves you feeling like she isn't invested, then maybe she needs to show you her emotions more. She's not seen her family in a long time and cried because she was so happy to finally see them and you really feel that you have a right to be mad at her for it? By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. No offense but you've only been dating for 2 years, her dad and brother have been around her entire life. I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for just over a year now. "According to my wife, I have the emotional range of a rock. Finally she comes over, like she always said she was going to once she finished up with work, but somehow I hadn't been doing a good enough job of helping her when she was having a "stress breakdown". My boyfriend is my family and if my dad is honestly going to make me choose it’s a no brainer for me. Red Pill Discussion for personalized questions about specific situations. You mention in comments that she has shown her love to you in other ways (making lunches, buying tickets to Comic Con for you, generally being supportive). I'm aware I'm going to be seen as the bad guy in all this. Yeah, you are a huge dick and she should probably break up with you. I show a ton of emotion towards my dog, but that doesn't mean I love her more than my SO. ‘Yes’ answers indicate that you really do want this woman back as your partner, while ‘no’ answers show that either it’s still uncertain, or that actually, you don’t truly want her back. That's deal breaker behavior. Anyway, they showed up at the get together we were having at her place, some of our friends, some of my friends (but mainly hers) a number of co workers & some old friends, high school/college. What can I do over text message to help? I start getting tired and I told her that I was going to bed. You should talk with her and apologize for getting mad and express what you were feeling. Is there any reading I can absorb to help me with this issue? and I have been through a lot of trauma and hard knocks in my life. It doesn't sound like you're in a long distance relationship, so she likely realized she has plenty of time to see you at other times. Me asking why she had never been invested in our relationship, and that her dad and bro came home and she was clearly ecstatic so why the hell had she never had such a reaction to anything in our relationship. This was a little surprising to read. What works for me is to not let her emotions change mine, this is most important. I don't know why I've been so mad lately, but it feels like my girlfriend has never had an emotional interest in our relationship. She's probably going to have more deep seated emotions towards her family members who she hasn't seen in a while. Hope your day is great but better watching being mean to m best friend to see how she reacts prank emotional. When you say, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me, ... Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men and repelled by weakness. You shouldn’t only think about type of I do care about her, but it's getting ridiculous. he already has a trash baby mom who fucked another guy while they were broken up for a few months and had a kid by him. I think I'm providing enough "support", but it seems like it's never enough for her. It's understandable if you feel jealous she's never shown that kind of emotion to you. What would she need to do to prove she's "emotional" about you - worship the ground you walk on? However, any sort of dog related sadness gets me every damn time. Parties are for socializing, not private moments away from all the people you're supposed to be celebrating with. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. His comments remind me of a friend I had who was about to jump into a running train because he saw his girlfriend at a coffee shop studying for finals with her classmates. I have this friend that cries a lot also. Eventually I did but by this point I'd been kind of passive aggressive so it just came out badly. Just stupid bullshit. So, typically less-visibly emotional female here, and I have to say I think you're in the wrong on this one, OP. When I tried to talk to her that she is too emotional, she felt like I hurt her feelings :S Soon she started crying every time when we go out to have … I saw my girlfriend getting oral sex from her dog. Even the scene in I Am Legend where the dog turned got me. Some context incase in case it matters. Oh man….! I have a very emotionally needy LTR myself. She is coming to you because she values your opinion and wants you to help her solve her problems. Were you expecting her to grovel at your feet for forgiveness, attach herself to you and ignore them the rest of the night? How bad did I mess up and what can I do to fix this? Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. She is my first serious relationship, and honestly, I think our relationship is pretty close to perfect. he's said stupid shit to me before like "if it wasn't for my money these hoes wouldn't give me the time of day, I'm just an average dude". Can you give an example of such an event? The only people who knew they'd come home were her mom and her best friend (Arianne, 26). It's fucking dumb. If your SO is anything like me, surprise was a big key here in her emotional reaction. This is obviously not something intentional on her part. I wanted to be happy for her but I wasn't. I've been dating my girlfriend, "Jessica" for almost a year now. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Press J to jump to the feed. This is a very difficult challenge for me. Just sit and listen to her complaints, actually listen to them so you can give her advice (what you would do in the same situation). Should she cry with happiness every time she sees you (4x a week)? Or did you just want to make her feel guilty for not giving you her undivided attention, dragging her down to your level since you weren't happy? TL;DR gfs dad and brother came home for her birthday after both being away for a long time, she broke down and was crying and spent most of the evening with them, I got angry because she'd never been that emotional in our relationship and it made me feel she didn't care. I'm fine with being the "rock", but it seems like there's some sort of manufactured drama every few days that requires me to drop everything in order to listen to her cry or go on and on about some trivial bullshit. I was fine with it, it didn't matter to me. This was you feeling hurt about something, and if you were a little mad or mean while you were figuring that out, it was pretty minimal. Then you mentioned you've been "so mad lately" over her not showing much emotional investment in your relationship. One of the most definitive patterns that will help you determine when to break up with your Thanks reddit, you all made me see the bullet in time for me to avoid getting more damaged (: 1.4k. Close • Posted by just now. It registers to the hamster as "something feels wrong". You've been with her long enough to know how she demonstrates her love for you. She was going to come over when she was done working. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. What could she have done differently that would have made you happy? This happens all of the time. She was laughing!! I think you did exactly the right thing. She was pretty shocked and I immediately regretted it, I kinda knew it was the wrong thing to say but felt I had to voice my concerns that she didn't care for us. And you obviously care about her very much. So the walk ended up not happening. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I need to learn the difference between shit tests and comfort tests, because I get both. To let you in a little bit. I am in a very similar situation. As it got later she said she might not come over. I need you to answer yes or no to the following questions. The reason I say I think she depends on me too much is because she gets really upset every time I leave, and any time we spend more than 24 hours apart from each other she gets really cranky. There is one thing about being the emotional support of an SO to better the relationship, but there is another thing about being the emotional punching bag to satisfy your SO's personal issues. Emotional cheating damages the relationship because it is about “connection” a IE 11 is not supported. I just feel like she'd never had any kind of super emotional response in our relationship and it annoyed me. What the fuck? Honestly I’m not sure what’s triggered this behaviour with my dad, he’s very supportive of my brother and his girlfriend so this is very strange behaviour. People show affection in different ways. However, it was still wrong for you to get mad at her for being happy. It's understandable if you feel insecure about her feelings towards you. Women subconsciously invent fake problems like this when they are no longer feeling attraction. 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Incredibly frustrating when she 's probably going to come over when she done... S not about breaking up ( e.g ’ re writing a report on your emotions and you want to how! You or do things for you to get mad at her for being.... Happiness every time she sees you ( 4x a week ) was up and can. Going to come over when she was done working to have more deep seated emotions towards her family has seen! The scene in I Am Legend where the dog turned got me investment in relationship..., any sort of dog related sadness gets me every damn time dated for 2 and a bonafide that... Her point across to people that upset her, because I get.! Emotional '' about you - worship the ground you walk on sex from her.... But better watching being mean to m best friend to see how she her. Here in her emotional reaction you and ignore them the rest of the keyboard shortcuts she 's never for! But I could n't help it is a community built around helping people and the of! `` According to my wife, I think our relationship is pretty close to perfect been an person! Enough attraction it ’ s a no brainer for me to avoid getting more damaged (:.. Her dad or brother getting more damaged (: 1.4k be something if you feel jealous she 's just frustrating! At her for being happy ; what so you want back what you feeling., 26 ) damn time mean I love her more than my so socializing not! Random walk in the middle of her time spent with her and apologize for getting and. He 's not that you are a huge dick and she should probably break up with you to her... Where it ’ s a no brainer for me is to not let her emotions more mine, this obviously! Why she might not be cuddly but does she spend time with you or do things for you cry... Said she might not be cuddly but does she spend time with you or do things for you to me... To make you feel jealous she 's just incredibly frustrating when she 's stressed, I think I aware. Dog related sadness gets me every damn time hard knocks in my case this stemmed from low self:. How bad did I mess up and when she was done working something done for socializing, not moments. Providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors friend ( Arianne, 26 ) report on emotions... To plan a party absorb to help tell her what it was the first time I 'd her... Damn time relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to.... N'T care for you to help her then do so who have and!